Convicted felon and former Arizona Secretary of State Katie Hobbs received an early Christmas gift Friday morning: She was hanged before a coterie of officers who had arrived at GITMO to witness her final breath.

As reported on December 16, a military commission found Hobbs guilty of election fraud, conspiracy to commit murder, and treason and sentenced her to hang by the neck until dead, JAG’s severest corporal punishment reserved for Deep Staters whose lives were spent undermining the U.S. Constitution and perfidiously orchestrating the enslavement of God-fearing American patriots.

The emotional instability Hobbs had displayed throughout the tribunal exposed her hideous demeanor and persisted after she returned to her cell. She had apparently used the nub of a fingernail to scratch “f*** Kari Lake” and “f*** Donald Trump” on a cell wall. She had fallen to her knees and asked God for freedom. When those prayers went unanswered, she invoked Satan to both free her from bondage and eternally curse Trump and Lake, her mortal adversaries, by ripping the flesh from their bones.

Her hellish tirades continued into Friday morning, when, having refused a last meal, MPs plucked her from the cell for a leisurely ride to the gallows. Along the way, a desperate Hobbs tried negotiating her freedom; she offered the guards two million dollars each if they’d bring her to a boat launch, put her aboard a skiff, and point her towards Miami, with a promise to pay later, naturally. When bribery failed, she stooped to threats, saying her “people” would punish her “assassins.”

At the gallows, Hobbs directed her animus at Adm. Crandall, calling him a “cowardly weakling” as the MPs steered her to the shallow flight of steps leading to the platform where the hangman and a Navy chaplain awaited her arrival. She snarled at the chaplain.

“Unless you can get these cuffs off me and get me out of here, I don’t want to hear you or talk to you,” she said to him.

“As you wish,” the chaplain replied and left the platform.

Below, Admiral Crandall cleared his throat. “Detainee Katie Hobbs, having been found guilty of grievous crimes against this nation and its people, you have been sentenced to hang. You’re entitled to last words if you have anything you’d like to say.”

Hobbs sneered. “You’re a coward, that’s what I have to say. You stand down there and let others do your bidding. I revile you—you, Donald Trump, and Kari Lake. I bet you don’t dare to drop me yourself.”

“I relieve you,” Admiral Crandall called out to the hangman.

The unnamed soldier snapped to attention and then climbed down the steps. The admiral took his place beside a shackled Katie Hobbs. He placed the noose around her neck and a dark hood over her head, and sardonically wished her a merry Christmas as he triggered the swinging door and sent Hobbs plummeting to her death.

A navy physician recorded Hobbs’ expiration time and date: 11:34 a.m. Friday, December 22, 2023.